motion still

A motion still,
this pacified air of ripples
undetected,
non-reflective skin in tension fear of sound of breaking through the surface sending droplets streaming skyward in an arc descending finally in crashes that reverberate and enervate the silence from collision with this perfect sheet of glass…
I sit in stasis staring faceless baring muscle, bone and skin untoned.
Encapsulate each blink its my last the liquid fails to move before the touch anticipated correlating action caused effect and yet it only stand resistant in the blink before a contact breaks the ice….
effortless an still exhausted
balanced on a temperature so fickle and surprising in its sensitivity, proclivity to teeter unrewarding till slipping without warning of the edge….. a stillness in emotion screams and struggles though the static from the inside urging out along each and every fibrous tissue, bloody vein….
and still…… just still
a pool of unforgiveness never giving bare an inch and even less

if I move will you see me there not moving………………….?

liquid ghosts

let go

air is water quenching

drops extracted

release, release

realise the motion lost

fatigue

immobile

static emanations light to dark through shadows

a shading

calm affection

noise rejection

release, release

liquid ghosts

one breath

filling, instilling

an ecstatic emptiness

a perfect stream

to wash this skin for my

resplendent immolation.

disordered conduct

Time drains
away as blood
growing paler, skin like paper, loss of tone, fading hue,
incremental loss of friction, watch me vanish before your very eyes in long, slow blinks. The flow is serene but fearful in its possible outcome, unknown beckons whether I like it or don't like it. Like whispers drawing me closer, an effort to hear, the strain breaking every fibre... to find... nothing being spoken, only sound, disordered and discordant, dissembling and being put back together over and over and over....

There's something moorish about the moment just gone as opposed to the moment to come, or the one that envelopes me right now... and then now..... familiarity, relief, and not apprehension, reluctance.

Wracked with mistrust, suspicion
rain is like relief, it masks, drowns, smothers, flows, locks us all inside, separate and apart. Saving ourselves from each other. It's effortless. This rain. Focusing my attention, a barrier, security systems on, paranoia locked and loaded, diffidence in operational mode..... one emotion flows into another seemingly imperceptible, sneaky, but leaving traces, scrapings, hollows, and indentations....

Water offers solace.. and being water proffers refuge in senescence.

no waves

a flow reclusive
unobtrusive
to move along the easiest path of least resistance

make no waves

a trickle down
gravity pursues
the force elusive
demands respect and complete surrender

make no waves

denial flow

denial

a blend of flow and ripples

caught at times in hollows and swirls seemingly spinning endless over and over and vanishing to a point in the centre swallowed and crushed…

water

so inviting

so imbibing

want to be touched held dripped through fingers

caresses across the surface of your skin

a sense of being clean, washed away of sins one and all, for a moment… fresh

a new beginning, water offers everything and more beyond imaginings, the promise kissed that follows like an aftertaste, inviting once again indulgence… so we indulge, captivated, greedy, human nature kicking in un denying and unknowing of the

consequences….

hidden tracts along the skin

veins pronounced and throbbing, burning, aching, pumping loudly in a growing rush, a single note without a peak… on and on, seemingly rising relentless

a rush

the softest scars criss-crossed and patinating

callipers that pinch the skin we watch our bruises form and grow and spread like water on the surface of the skin beneath the finer hairs….

hold

hold

inhalations incomplete unable to release

panic

panic

euphoric suffocation shatters expectations

refusing oxygen for one so undeserving, make it stop, make me stop, covered now in angular contusions, scrape and scratch and scar intent.

crack, refreeze

.....almost wistful
thankful of being nothing more than peripheral
no responsibility
no need to dance on the tip of someones expectations

kind of invincible, maybe, just a bit at least
a touch of the untouchable
like water...... you can touch
you can feel
you can watch it flow interminable
but you can't keep

here and not
then here then not
.... if I wore calipers would you treat me like an invalid
if I was old would you treat me like I'm elderly?

unnoticed no matter how many windows I smash
and do my words exist is there is no-one here to read them
no-one here to hear them?
can interpretation live in isolation of an interpreter?
... like dancing with yourself on ice, that cracks, refreezes, cracks, refreezes, never giving way but you just never know as every step echoes round the cavernous walls of the cwm.

another layer of snow upon another layer of snow to settle on another layer of snow compressing another layer of snow.

mist again

A drip
drip
drip effect
coddling my skin, a lover unperturbed by modesty or shame
Leylines of mist laying in
layers upon each other, a
mesh of smoke and mirrors, deflection and refraction. Threads of ghosts drift passed in the blink of an eye,

here and then ... gone.

Each demon seemingly oblivious to the next....
cool, damp extreme.
I drive into them and they let me in, unwilling
from the touch of their chilled, clammy fingers piercing my metal box.
cool, damp extreme.

The hum of the engine swallowed by their breath.

They taunt me, tease,
move closer
come closer
thats right
closer
there

...and then all together as if as one, twist away only too return like a flood around this increasingly cold space. It is s if I had dropped off the edge of the world into.... what? The writhing continues, soundlessly but deafening in their blank expressions.

And I emerge in glaring sunlight,

blinding,

leaving them to regret the passing.